Two Truths
In my role as a therapist, I often remind people, “More than one thing can be true at a time.” It’s something we all navigate, whether it’s realizing you can love someone and be mad at them, or that you can be proud of your progress while still needing to make changes.
In the aftermath of Hurricane Helene, these truths feel more powerful and raw than ever. Here are the two truths I, and many others, are holding right now:
Truth #1: I am so sad.
I feel such deep sadness. Sadness for the towns destroyed, for the families who lost their homes, and for those who are trying to rebuild shattered lives. Most of all, I grieve for the lives lost and for the people searching frantically for loved ones.
Scrolling through the “Lost and Found” pages on Facebook is gut-wrenching. They’re filled with names, faces, and stories of those missing. Occasionally, there’s a happy post: “Found and safe.” But just as often, the updates are devastating: “Found and deceased.” The heartbreak is relentless, and it feels surreal to witness this level of tragedy.
Truth #2: I am so thankful.
At the same time, I am incredibly thankful. My family and I are safe. I’m in awe of the resilience and generosity of those who are hurting but still reaching out to help others. People are showing up in extraordinary ways, whether it’s by donating items, coordinating resources, or simply offering a kind word.
These contrasting emotions – grief and gratitude – coexist. It’s a powerful and confusing mix.
Navigating Trauma
This disaster has been the most traumatic natural event I’ve ever experienced. And as I reflect on trauma, I recognize some common patterns in our emotional responses that are true for me:
Hyperarousal: My nervous system is in overdrive. Every small trigger makes me feel on edge, and I could burst into tears at any moment—whether from sadness or gratitude.
Exhaustion: Despite being drained, I struggle to sleep. My mind races, replaying everything I’ve witnessed over the past days.
Irritability: I’ve snapped more times than I’d like to admit. The constant state of stress has me on edge.
Survivor’s Guilt: It’s overwhelming. The guilt of being safe, of having a home, while so many others are suffering—it’s a heavy.
Taking Small Steps Forward
I’ll be honest: I’ve hated my own response at times. I feel like I should be doing more, yet I’m stuck, unable to muster the energy to make a meaningful impact.
But, as of yesterday afternoon, I have a plan. I want to share what I’m doing—not because I have it all figured out, but because small steps are better than none.
(Note: I recognize how fortunate I am to even have a home to clean or a device to type this on. I am privileged, and I don’t take that for granted.)
So, here are two more truths: I am not happy with my response in the last week and I can absolutely do something different this week.
My plan for this week:
Clean up my space: It’s Day 10 without power and Day 9 without water. Still, I used what I could to clean up yesterday. I tend to do a “Sunday reset” each week and this one was just modified. It wasn’t perfect, but it felt productive.
Gratitude: I am focusing on what I have to be thankful for. Not only my life and the safety of my family - but, smaller things. For example, the fact that I can type this due to my computer being charged and I can share it while using my neighbor’s WiFi.
Routine: Starting this morning, I maintained a semblance of my morning routine. Brushed my teeth, wiped my face, made instant coffee. Not ideal, but it helped me feel grounded.
Limit social media usage: I recognize that endless scrolling was/is keeping me stuck. I’m planning to reduce my time of Facebook - I am hoping this will give me time to help those around me.
Help: My guilt tells me I haven’t done enough. This week, I am committed to helping at least one person a day, in whatever way I can. I struggle with “all or nothing” thinking which is limiting me. My plan for this week is doing things, no matter how small —-Whether it’s asking a neighbor what they need, delivering supplies, or cleaning up some of the dried mud in the neighborhood—I’m doing what I can, bit by bit.
If you have gotten to the end of this, I appreciate your time. and patience I know this is probably not the ideal blog post and goes all over the place.
If there is anything I can do to help you, please reach out.
#MountainStrong
