Processing: Finding Clarity After Chaos

Ever since the storm, I’ve noticed my young children processing the event in their own way through play. I’ll hear them riding their scooters and saying things like, “Let’s go this way, I think that road is closed.” Or they’ll push a toy shopping cart and ask one another, “Are you open? Do you have any water?” I heard my daughter knock on the door of her playhouse and ask “did the water get in?”

I’m not a play therapist, and I’m certainly not prompting them…..I can’t help but think this is their way of processing what they’ve experienced. It's fascinating how even in play, they’re trying to make sense of the world around them.

As a therapist, I talk about processing all the time. Right before the hurricane, ironically, I asked someone if they had “processed” something. They chuckled and said ‘what does that even mean?’

“Have you processed it?” “Let’s talk more about that.” “Have you talked about it?” I use these phrases to help clients I work with navigate their emotions and experiences.

Following the hurricane, I’ve seen processing happening everywhere—not just in therapy. I’ve witnessed it with family members, people waiting in line at the grocery store, neighbors sharing stories. We all seem to be processing together, in real time.

Reflecting on this, I realize that when I ask clients about processing, I’m really hoping for three key things:

• It helps us normalize our experience. Processing allows us to relate to others and realize we’re not alone.

• It brings clarity. Processing helps us untangle the jumble of emotions and confusion in our heads.

• It gives us a sense of control. When we process, we gain power over our thoughts and begin to feel more grounded.

Processing isn’t just a therapy tool—it’s a human response. Whether we’re doing it through conversation, play, or reflection, it’s a way to help us heal, understand, and move forward.