When Life Gets Hot: A Lesson in Coping and Perspective
Growing up in the mountains, I was used to summer days that rarely exceeded 75°F. So, when I ended up living in the eastern part of NC, where the summer heat is extreme, I was in for a rude awakening. At that point in my life, I was in a bit of a funk, and it was easy to blame my discontent on the heat. I wish I could say that I learned what I’m about to share with you back then, but the truth is, I didn’t. It took me a few more years—and a bit more wisdom—to realize how the following lesson perfectly applied to that situation.
Now, I see things a little differently. When we’re faced with a problem—almost any problem, really—we have four options. Looking back on that time of my life, where I couldn’t stop complaining about the heat, (for lack of anything else legitimate to complain about) those options would have played out something like this:
Option 1: Solve It
Solving a problem means fixing it completely, so it no longer exists. Don’t like it, change it. In my case, being unhappy with the scorching temperatures, solving it would have meant packing up and moving to a cooler climate, never to return. Problem solved, right? But as we all know, not every problem can be solved so easily, and sometimes, solving it just isn’t an option.
Option 2: Tolerate It
Tolerating a problem is what we do when we’re not ready or able to make a change, or when we feel stuck for some reason. In my scenario, tolerating the heat might have looked like avoiding the outdoors as much as possible, cranking up the air conditioning (and dealing with the higher electric bill), or finding a place with a pool to cool off in. The problem—the heat—remains, but you find ways to cope with it.
Option 3: Change Your Perspective
Sometimes, a simple shift in how we look at a problem can be powerful. Just like tolerating it, the problem itself doesn’t change—but how you feel about it can….how you think about it. Changing my perspective might have meant reminding myself that while the summers were sweltering, the mild winters were a welcome relief from the snow-filled winters I was used to in the mountains. Plus, let’s be honest—who’s ever 100% happy with where they live? It’s pretty normal to have something to complain about, and maybe that’s okay.
Option 4: Do Nothing
Finally, there’s the option to do nothing at all. Complain, whine, moan—just keep everything as is. And honestly, that’s exactly what I did. And you know what? That’s fine too. Sometimes, doing nothing is the decision we make, and that’s okay.
When it comes down to it, making a decision doesn’t have to be the forever or best decision. It’s just an idea, something new to try, and sometimes, that’s all we need.
